1) I worked as a cashier in corporate casual (blue company shirt, khaki slacks, black shoes, etc). I worked with many people, all but one I really got along with. I was 18 at the time and this co-worker was a year or so younger than me. He was quite the jokester and liked to get people rowled up, but also did several inappropriate things in his joking. For one, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders lightly with another male co-worker present. What led up to it was normal at first. I felt a bit uncomfortable but laughed off the nervousness and nothing else ensued. Other forms happen; for one, this co-worker telling me “my ass was huge” quite loudly when I was assisting a family with small children. Uncomfortable, but shrugged off.

One day I was walking to the back by myself for my break, and he was coming from the opposite direction for the same room by himself. He started to dance (or pretend to?) and I laughed from both humor and nervousness. Then he started getting closer and closer to me and I didn’t know what to do. Next thing I know I’m pinned up against a wall with this kid rubbing his crotch into my leg. I didn’t know what to do so I simply froze up and when I finally could, I ran off and hid.

It took me two weeks to tell anyone. I told my sister’s current boyfriend at the time and he said I needed to tell my managers and get him fired. I told someone else, very close to me, and he said that the kid was “just joking” and to “confront him” and “tell him how I feel”. I finally opted to do that, and I told him how uncomfortable this all made me. Instead of apologizing, I got a “I won’t do it again” and “Thanks for not telling the managers.”

This guy was later fired, since he never really did any work and slacked off as much as possible.

2) I work in a fast casual restaurant as a runner (bussing tables, running food to tables, etc) so everything is always fast paced. One of the cooks (a younger man but older than me still) had said a couple of things that I should have realized was possibly leading up to this. He asked me my age (which I answered out of habit, then realized how creepy it was) and told me I was beautiful. I generally told like compliments from strangers/people I don’t know, but I politely told him “Thank you”. I didn’t think much of it till it happened.

The kitchen is very small, and some of the spaces you have no choice but to bump into people when walking by. I had my back facing to the aisle while I was putting away clean dishes into their racks. My hands were full and my attention was on what I was doing so I didn’t see it happen. Next thing I know, this cook comes up behind me and start to (very hard and roughly) massage my lower neck/upper shoulders. As soon as I could, I grabbed his hands and forced them off of me with a “Please don’t do that”. He stopped and left after that. I told a few people later on, and they said I should have told the manager.

I regret and don’t regret telling my managers in both of these situations. I would have felt guilty had I got these guys fired and “ruined their lives”. But I also resent that they probably still do these things to unsuspecting women in their job(s). But I feel like had I “gotten them fired” I would have been labeled a “b**** whore feminist d*** who likes to get poor, innocent men fired”.

I do not drive so I take mass transit everywhere. Unfortunately I’ve encountered numerous creeps on the buses and trains.

a. Creep # 1 on the Big Blue Bus #3. I got on the bus and the guy sitting across the aisle asked me a question about the keychain on my backpack. I answered briefly and opened my book to read. About 30 minutes later when the seat in front of me opened up, he vaulted across the aisle and slung his arm across the seatback so it was touching me. There were numerous other empty seats. I moved immediately.

b. Creep # 2 on Metro 117. I was sitting and reading, minding my own business, when a man sitting nearby started trying to engage me in conversation. He would not leave me alone even when I gave one-word answers, kept my book open and made it very obvious I didn’t want to talk. It was a Sunday and if I got off the bus to get away from him, I would have had to wait 30 minutes for the next 117. I bolted when the bus got to my stop. I was so afraid he was going to follow me.

c Creep # 3 at the Hawthorne Green Line station. I was waiting for the train when an older man in Masonic jewelry planted himself next to me, started making homophobic remarks and asking if I was a lesbian, if I’d have sex with him, etc. When the train arrived I ran down the platform to get into a different car.

And then there are all the guys who sit down next to you and immediately open their legs to 180 degrees, encroaching on all of your personal space. There’s no way to avoid physical contact with them unless you get up and move, and that just isn’t right.

I was really shaken by the violence in his voice, and biked the rest of the way to my job in fear. It’s almost the end of the work day and I’m not looking foreward to my ride home.

I usually don’t like bringing the police into things, but next time some old rich white dude takes his road rage out on me, I’m getting a license plate number and telling the cops I think there’s a drunk driver around.

You can read the entire article here. Thank you to journalist Bill Plaschke for including this piece in the L.A. Times sports pages.

Young blogging sensation, Tavi, reflects on the male gaze on her site dedicated to teenage girls, Rookie. Check out the full blog post here.

Check out  Sorya Chemaly’s full article on HuffPost.

There was ONE time it crossed the line. It was during a downtown event, so we were busy and people were drinking. A guy kept asking my name over and over because he kept forgetting it. He touched my shoulders, my waist, my hair, my hands. Finally he and his friends closed out their tab, and he pats the tip book and says “There’s a nice big tip in there for you.” Then he hooked his arm around my neck, drew me in to him, and kissed me, almost on the mouth. I pulled away, taking my tip book with me, and went to the security guy we hired for the day to tell him that this guy was behaving badly. He told the manager, and they went and kicked the guy out. I felt guilty, because I didn’t mean to kick him out, I only meant to have him watched. I felt guilty because I felt like I overreacted and ruined his evening. But it had gotten to the point where, unless I absolutely had to walk by him, I was hiding in the server station so he wouldn’t see me and come over to talk to me.

I hate these douchebags who take advantage of my position and my job. I wish I could tell them all to fuck off, but I can’t. I have to be nice.